follow me on Twitter

    Monday, December 7, 2009

    I won't let you ruin the music for me

    I won’t let you ruin the music for me

    Palahniuk and Mr. AZ go hand in hand on this one

    Why can’t I sweep the cold spring nights aside in my mind?

    Beaches and Bastards

    I wish I could count the times my head has taken me back to that first night spent in the dark with unfamiliar notes in my ear, like a record, I’m skipping

    And now that track in our symphony has been so overplayed, it is worn and cracking

    Darling, Monroe is in my name

    Rainy days and the harle[quin/m] curse

    How many times did I drive that same street begging for you into the early hours of sunrise?

    The things of modern fairy tales

    And i fell so hard to the soundtrack you created for us

    It hurt so badly and I hardly ever said a word to you

    Sitting next to waterfalls matching my summer red eyes

    Babe, we all fall in love with letters T and X

    Texas-kings and queens[you’re so lost in the scene]- hold’em

    But my story book takes place in parking lots and shopping malls,

    no castles or enchated forests here

    I wish i could run but your face is so broadcasted I can’t

    And now after dragging me along you reappear enough to make me question wha was and then like my car into the sunset and you into dark rooms, you vanish

    Saturday, December 5, 2009


    The clock pulses, counting down every beat until were done
    Even the man on the moon sang along to our symphonies
    I'm getting over the fact that youre just over me and no matter what I say that's always where you'll stand
    I know this is for the best for the real boy full of heart who loves me back home.
    That little glass heart of yours that you so proudly protect, yeah, I see straight through it.
    Like glitter in the gutter and rain on cinders
    Like sweating it out in the middle of winter
    My mind is stuck in a discordant rut
    Hanging on heart strings i'm desperate to cut
    You broke my heart in two
    I'd still do anything for you
    I'll love you while you sleep
    And like you when you wake
    But I'll keep coming back to you
    And deny your gift of heartbreak


    Can you feel this, sweet D?
    I'm touching you but I'm not sure where you are or if you can feel it under all those facades, faces and fronts
    I wish you couldve seen the way I looked at you but you were too busy staring at the mirror
    Yeah you. Underneath all that product, the one you're selling yourself as, and the stuff on and in your head
    Underneath the label, the one you've plastered to youself and your albums are(n't) on
    Underneath the clothes that really aren't you
    Somewhere underneath all that is the one I fell for
    Just you
    Sometimes I wonder if you had a life before you were a b(r)and
    Because only once have I heard a story from when you were young or before this scene were both freeze framed in consumed you
    It's a shame you never made your wu to my bed
    I've still got it turned down for you
    But past the point of wanting anything but to tuck you in.
    Can you feel this, stupid D?
    Yes it's me, trying to get through to you, underneath it all.

    Friday, December 4, 2009

    Karma Darling <3

    Here is our youth
    Settling into old bones and our wisdom is sinking into the crevaces of the creases that we dont have yet, only wish we did.
    Feel that age sinking in
    With every draw of smoke and pill popped
    I'm still listening to Brand New, I never liked them but closed my eyes and lulled away to them so that we fell asleep to the same notes
    I stopped feeding that impulse though
    Return me to pawn, just like a chess board
    Maybe I'll stop getting played if I'm
    Surrounded by knights and queens.
    Maybe I'll stop getting walked on if I'm made of brick and not dirt
    Like the path that surrounded the lake we walked around.
    Maybe you'll stop hurting me if I become the nurse who fixes you when your hearts broken
    Oh my young dear your heart can spring back, maybe not, you've got a few years on us
    That will teach you to mess with girls like us
    We bend and never break and we'll move onto the next music making youth filled charismatic boy
    While youll stay stuck on us and chistle us into eternal concrete of a song
    But you're the one who begged for material


    My young mind never understood that a heart could treat another in such a way that caused so much pain
    I want to rip up my mental notes and watch them set ablaze in my heart burn
    "I wouldn't have done that to you"
    Why didn't you heed my W(k)AR(ma)ning?

    blue eyes if the storm

    I'm finally facing these tears that have been backed up in my soar eyes for months
    I've been stopped up
    My mind is spinning tonight and there is no stopping it like the force of the hurricane you turned my life into
    I sat and stared at the blue eyes of the storm and now when it broke down and looks just as sad as me, I feel empathy.
    I feel empathy for something who took my world and built it up and tore it down
    I just looked in the eyes of the jaded gypsy, she pulled me in close and whispered in my ear "you're not the first, you won't be the last, you're just the next to get sucked in"
    I broke her looking glass that day
    I knew she was wrong she came from the north, she came from the south and she came from the west. And I was between her.
    She got sucked into that huricane too. She fought back and waged the war I wished I had
    Oh the hurricane. We marvel in it's natural beauty and mystery and we marvel and wonder how it could happen
    Then we run in fear, when we realize what it's about to do
    Then we hide while it ruins everything around us and takes our possessions and shatters everything we know
    Then after in wreckage we are empty
    But who in their right mind empathizes the huricane?
    Why am I empathizing the hurricane
    it was the source of every single one of my problelms and proved to me that I was too weak to stand against it's winds
    And now I feel bad that it's winds have died down

    Taylor Jean Norma Jean Marilyn Monroe

    I am tired of my bed posts merely being the knobs to reveolving doors
    Are my sheets so inviting as to welcome the masses? My heart cannot put up bars against my actions.
    The more notches made with this knife, the more my heart is carved hallow with the same


    I'm writing just to get back in this tick tock flip flop pattern
    Oh my hearts been skipping beats since you left
    My blood has just stopped short of ventricles
    But now I got shot up with a few ounces of karma
    In a nice sharp siringe that stung on the way in
    My blood and the luck that runs through it has come full circle
    Oh there you are blood. Rushing to my head and making my cheecks a shade darker
    I feel you pumping through my veins again. Doesn't make sense that you say so cold and dull through the warm summer months
    And now youre kick starting my part again in the fall as everything is dying around me
    It doesn't make sense
    Why am I coming alive when nothing else around me is?
    Stiching up rips that are years old
    Oh I've missed you fall. The red leaves the bit of the chill in the air
    It's almost like it's warning me
    But can't say I didn't warn you

    Left, Right, Left, Left Right Left

    Straighten my spine
    I need to realign
    Staighten up
    And Step in time
    My heads in the mode
    Of military code
    Dots and dash
    Lock and load


    You know me, I like a challenge.
    The only reason he keeps coming back to me is because he has met his match,
    I play the game along with him,
    and play the untouchable game so he keeps coming back.
    That's what all guys really want.
    I'm no seductress,
    I've Just got the game game down.
    It's a great lesson to learn,
    To have the boys in the palm of you hand even when they think the roles are reversed
    Girls always win, girls always break hearts.
    Boys give us temporary heartbreak, but a girl can scar a boy forever.