Air O'Gance

I wonder.
I am the vainest person I know.
I love myself so no one else has to
but can't you?
I hold my head high with confidence and walk with and on air
I'm smart and never enough for myself
I push and push until I'm scraping talent off the soul of my shoe
All this to prove to myself, that yes. I am worth loving.
And sometimes i don't think people understand how much I am willing to give to them
how much I will do to love them
when the time comes someone will be amazed
I am amazed with me
I've been through so much. I deserve it all.
And in the clam before the storm I am left wanting
wanting someone to confirm
but that's my lesson
confirm yourself
love yourself
be confident
head held high
and that is all

CCH

Reading you makes my knees ache
to stand back where the concreate hits the stage curtin
im screaming and bleeding against this bar for you
shoved up aginst all the other people in this town who feel the same and were all here for the same cause
just you. How does it feel to be loved this much?

Tell me I’m just a passerby

An emphemeral meteor in a starry sky

My rainy cloud luck came and stole you away

Brief thunderstorms on fateful days

Snuff to spite i need someone tonight

The miles between us just don’t feel right

We’re closer than we’ve been before

i’ve forgotten hundreds

what’s one more?

Stars in my veins and stars on my arms, you always promised you'd keep me from harm.

There She Goes

“It’s spring time
That means I’m breaking out the leather jacket and changing my outlook on life again
New beginnings
Live high live well live fast
I’m the wholeheart with a splash of rock n’ roll
The tame wild child
That’s me streaking past you
I’ll show you how I live without you
I’ll be so good and sickly sweet
I’ll give you my everything
But won’t give a damn
It’s time to live
It’s time to fly
There she goes
Passing by”

iEyeohDine

And if I ever breakdown on the rough road like before
I know I’ll always take the fork
And end up on my knees at your door.
I wish you knew of the sins I’ve comitted in your wake
The acting out I’ve done in hopes one day we’ll meet again…
… In hell.
Hm. That’s strange, you taste like blood.

Cave of Wonders

The sadness that once put so many tons of weight upon my chest caused a crack
The crack turned into lonliness
And the cavern walls that gaurded my heart caved in
It turned into a creater from which anyone could dig and take the gems they found there for free if they inventested their time and labor
And they did dig. And took those gems
They just happened to be chips of my diamond shattered heart
Once radiating in the summer sun
Everyone now wears a piece of my heart and shows it off to all of their sycophant friends
“look at my prize from my excavation”

Holey Ghost

4am and you’ve ripped up my scripts of dreams
I feel like sitting in the middle of my mass of shreads
Maybe I’ll make a snowangel in this white paper desert
And make something beautiful out of this mess
Most nights I sleep with my arms wrapped around myself
To keep my heart from falling out of the hole in my chest while I sleep
I can’t decide if it’s because youre not here or just your fault

Symposium

Hot with caught light for just one heartbeat
Laying in bed under the weight of my realizations
I put up with this because I’m tired of being lonely
I only think you’re the one because I want you to be

Jayess

I’ve taken my fair share of stars from the skies and places them in my veins
But I’ve given them and and bled them into constellations
Beautiful patterns that tell my story
Of pain and joy
And when the shooting stars
Go passing by they keep going
Around the stratosphere
Around and around but don’t burn out
My stars never go out
Reflected in my eyes
Blink and they might fade

but “never go away”

All roads lead back home like veins to the heart
And classic chicago rock makes me fall in love
Choking back second hand smoke makes me fall harder

I feel like setting fire to something just to watch it burn

Someone please emboss my body

I want to be remembered forever

through scars

in veins

in stars

through pain

$

I can’t put my finger on it

everything is blending together

these nights are getting harder to face

the wee morning hours thoughts eat my common sense

and pride

The only thing that tastes new is old

I’m too terrified to even mention….

I keep all these thoughts inside my head

All this change has got me cashing in

I’m only finding myself richer

fingers crossed, eyes squeezed shut

now don’t spend it all in one place

oh rye ann

I can’t sleep
Spots of color are starting to appear under my eyelids
As the thoughts that haunt me creep into my mind with the black that is the wee early morning hours
The color bleeds onto my pillow as I cling to the empty side of the mattress, your side, and I hope if I push myself into the dark hard enough some part of you will seep out of the hollow your body made next to where I lay,
where we laid night after night disussing our dreams and where the universe ends
Discussing the seasons according to the moon
And the brilliant colors of nebulas
The same colors that appear right behind my eyelids
Squeezing them hard enough that the colors blend to make out your figure next to me in the dark
And now, I can finally sleep

These holes my friends have dug
The craters they have filled after the bombs went off
The ripped and torn roads that his nails left in my back just looking to be traveled
Warm and full of safe fire
But fire ends where an ocean begins
I always find my ocean current tongue at high tide with you. The moon has to reciprocate some time…he can’t just pull and pull forever, can he? How many words can the current give before there is no more left?

God knows when I hold my breath I end up turning blue
Every night i patch up the hole in my chest where many have dug from with sewed up dreams so that my heart doesn’t fall out while I sleep

Lock me up in that little wooden house
So that my soul can sink into the floorboards
And watch over you when I’m not there
Find me between matrreses and mahogany
Sparking lights fall and the hollow of the guitar sound
A resounding hum
Like my head on your chest where gravity pulls me futher into the dark
Wear my grooves thin like the records you play over and over
I don’t mind
Spinning around and round on turntables like emeralds in my mind
Taking down everything around us so the scales don’t tip
It seems too right so everything else must look wrong to compensate

The truth is i feel stuck.
The truth is I just want to do something drastic.
Cut me, dye me, pierce me, move me, run with me.
I have friends all over the world. One in Africa, two in Paris, one in Spain, one in Germany and many all over the U.S.
I look out my window and I see the same skyline I've looked at all of my life
And I am starting to take it for granted
I just want to run and leave this place
I want to see things everywhere and experience things from other places
Give me adventure, composure, stability, anything but here
I am so happy
But the truth is I was never meant to be so stuck in one place
I've always been on the run
I cannot sit in one place for very long
show me the world, please.
I am not sure if this is my attempt to run from possible failure
or just a girl itching to run from her own skin
But i am ready to get out and go
I am afraid it is all fleeting
so go ahead and miss me
because you'll soon just be looking at my back and my ship sails into the sunset
fingers crossed to chase the sun around the world
We'll always be looking at the same moon
but for now i need change
location, destination, reverberation, contemplation
I'm out
There she goes