New Years Resolutions

1) Go To More Parties
2) Fall In Love
3) Appreciate More
4) Put My Head Above Everything That Is Wrong
5) Be More Independent
6) Learn THis: The Things You Are Most Terrified To Do Are Often The Things That End Up Being The Most Fun
7) Write More
8) Establish Myself
9) Not Loose Contact With People
10) Be Better


My Top 15 of 2008
15) Going to my first "legit people" party
14) The Rave AP tour
13) Seeing FTSK @ the mall (what a fun day)
12)The Rave for The Really Really Ridiculously Good Looking Tour
11) The Rocket Summer Tour
10) Fall Formal
9) meeting the fam/ establishing the brat pack/ Establishing the LSGs
8) Getting "My Box"/ All that had to do with it
7) Stalking.
6) Gilson Beach
5) THE CAB...album/show @ the rave/ show @ HOB
4) State and Madison Coming To Fremd
3) Getting involved in Chicago Music
2)Warped Tour/ Warped Tour Day @ 6 Flags
1) SUMMER 08 WITH MY BEST FRIENDS.

this is all subject to change as i remember things throughout the day

heal

dear Bedussy, im the anthem for what you've become

and i want it so bad
i'd shoot the sunshine right into my veins

here is my anthem: detoxjusttoretox

and this is my story:
You can only blame your problems on the world for so long
Before it all becomes the same old song
As soon as we hit the hospital, I know we're gonna leave this town

im running in a circle
in and out of hospitals
all those white walls look the same these days
im screaming because i feel nothing
but when i do it comes from the pit
and makes me shudder
i'd never whimpered before you
balled up on the ground
small and shaking
in a dark corner
like the last letter you wrote to her
that you balled up and tossed behind you because you couldnt get the words just right
but i get it now.
you never wanted to.
you never wanted to let go.
im just a ploy,
like perfect boys.
no body wants to hear you sing about tragedy

may i ask...

...who actually reads this misery business?
let me know.

i had forgotten what pulled me in

Citizens For Our Betterment Recap from citizens for our betterment on Vimeo.
feels like summer

these prisoners drag on, ball and chain and all

(M) h Y s L O p
Titles are allowed to be lame if there’s good material afterwards…so lets hope this is good.

I’ll help you find what’s inside. I’ll try and make everything all right. Don’t you ever put on a mask for me, I need to know everything. Someones gotta keep you alive. Gotta find a ball and chain to prove to you that I’ll always be here. Funny because a ball and chain is usually used as a metaphor about being locked down to something you want to get away from. But I want to stay right here. I’ll find you your sunshine even if it kills me. Because when you get your sunshine, I can finally have mine.


awwwwwww i love him!
=]
<3Kings

jealousy lies where their fingers wrap around each other

i cannot force these hands to make things that cannot be made
but i will try to force them to do things that they were not made to do
i'm pushing so hard these days to feel anything
anything with these hands
the same hands that never gave me a talent
and are hard enough to look at
these hands that could not be collegiate
could not make symphonies
could not write the words worth reading
could not make a better daughter
could not stop you form poisoning yourself
could not reach fourpoint "oh"
these hands that hold everything worth wanting
but nothing inside
the hands that have no others to hold
smash them and they will break into a million pieces
because they are hollow these days
and i cannot do anything or say anything that will fill them
just empty
like porcelain figures
along with this face
they're the same
painted beauty on the outside
beautiful dolls
with frills and diamonds
but on the inside
no color
and cold
and hollow
sitting on the top shelf collecting dust
to sit and be admired
but never touched
and so everyone heeds this warning
like i wear it upon this porcelain back with these hollow cold hands

this is just an accident

nothing compares to this sinking feeling
gravity pushes down on the hole in my chest
and slides right down to my stomach
and sits there
like a virtue spoiled
like a dream deferred
it hurts.
but i've built it up and kept these walls dammed and patched up before
and i've turned out fine
its only a matter of time
before i become the same
with a few more patches
in the sea of my body

who knew 3 words could feel the way someone holding you does:
we'll be ok
-M

about a [boy and a] girl

after all these years

they still understand
we've never met but they touch every aspect of me:

you can only blame your problems on the world for so long
before it all becomes the same old song
as soon as we hit the hospital, i know we're gunna leave this town

in the end

#6

who
the
fuck
have
you
turned
into

i never knew you in the first place
so maybe its just unraveling after all this time

Phoe Lee

without you, I'm just me
you know who you are, just fill in the picture in my mind with the memories you have of us

and i told her, welcome home

you ask me where my love lies...

December 3rd, 2008

a first.