hellohelicopterareyoulistening?

why hello blogspot.
i have not seen you in a while.
my time has been taken up
by a whirlwind of new things.
im astounded really
i am a i-dont-need-you, do-it-yourself, independent, lonely
sort of girl
and this all broke that
i know its all new but honestly,
everyone deserves what i've had these past few days
every girl deserves to hear these things
and see them too
i wish it upon everyone
worst part is, is that i feel like crying everytime i have to say goodbye
what is this change in my entire being?

my heart knew it before my head did:
october 12th 2008:
what you gave is mine forever
you can't take that away
tonight i traded hyssop and hyacinth
for nicotine and toxic fog
close enough to touch
far enough to make the right decision
woke up with my head in the stars
and fell asleep to fiction
i hope this isnt
its ringing in my ears
im giving it all to you