if only if only...

I'm really not a letdown, i swear.
it just takes time to understand me.
i swear, its amazing to hear of anyone who view the world the way i do
the way you put words fills up my mind
don't try to talk to me now, I'm dizzy with dreaming
dreaming of what will one day be love
because we've got our dreamsand fears
and life exists somewhere in between
people say, wait, when you stop looking, it comes.
but waiting for say, 2 years with this empty void? no.
yes I've got the world and more
but we all want what we don't have
I'm tired of filling pages
i want to share with someone-
who i can trust, who will want to hear me, who will encourage what i can do.
cliche but I'm tired of wanting, and not experiencing
i've tried, i've been trying.
why is it so hard to meet halfway?
because i dont need to hear "you're pretty" or "you're smart"
i need someone who can tell me the truth.
i don't want to experience a preconceived notion of how love should be
i want to experience it like no one has ever knownwhat it is, and name it myself
i want to be certain of one thing for once
i want to feel full for someone, appreciated for being being different,
maybe if i was, i wouldnt feel the need to fit in with everyone else
i want to feel that electrice spark for someone, something that leaves me dizzy
ive got so much love
i haven't been put through hell and back to just tell a story
it was to amaze someone, to inspire someone
to let them know i'm in for the big one
this was all written for someones eyes, but i'm just not sure who.