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    Saturday, July 12, 2008

    a long rant!

    [[its a bit of a rant, but better blogs are to come once i compose my thoughts]]So i felt like writing one of these... i've been thinking about stuff lately. i'm thinking that, no one gets me...well thats a lie. one person does, thats why shes my best friend. But, im thinking that im tried of being who everyone else wants me to be, and only showing half of myself because i dont think people will like the other parts of me. but here are some things, agree or disagree. this is me, its not me asking for anything, or anyone, or maybe it is... its more of the world as i see it-----------
    im obsessed with my music, i dont care if you dont like it, because im going to continue liking itive had alot of bad stuff happen to me, i used to use it as an excuse for being jaded. But thats a part of me i've since left behindi have a new view on the world thanks to an amazing teacher who saved me, ask me about him sometime, his philosophies will change you tooYes, i am looking for prince charming, who isnt, but i'm picky, and who ever he is, will share my view of the world because im not changing for anyone, ask me about it, its a long list of things i wish i could find in a personi dont hate anyone, hate takes up too much energyi sit around and play piano when i'm bored
    i sing, alot.
    i'm a writer, i write everyday, i've got notebooks filled of things: poems, observations, confessions, opinions, lists, ect.i'm a sucker for cool shoes, v necks, sweet hair, musicians, someone with style, and someone who can amaze me with insightful thingsi believe that theres incredible power in an ideayou should never find yourself saying "if ___, then i would be happy". Life is short, so why wouldnt you find it in yourself and the resources to be happy now? dont waste time looking for a reason for happiness, only something that can add to it. life isn't gaurnteed to anyone, no matter how much you have [or dont have] going for you. BE right now and dont waste a moment in betweendont let your problems be an anchor that weighs you down, let it be a kite that floats behind youas you can probably tell, i don't tend to dwell on the bad things, i look to reasons to be happyi'll over emphasize this, but i want to be in love, who doesnt.ive got one person in my life who i appreciate more than anything, who i never had to explain myself to, shes my best friend. i would like to find more people in this world who i can hold in such high regardsi dont believe that you need anything more than good friends to have a good timei notice things liek the stars, the moon, the clouds, and appreciate sunsets i read alot, my favorite book is a long way gone, by ishmael beah, it will make you think about what you have and how easy your life isThe Art Of Happiness- by howard C. Cutler M.D. and his interview of the dali lama[hows that spelled??]if the mirror shows you something you dont like, dont break the mirrorone of the worst things in the world is dispassionthis statement reassures me: someone wants you to find him/herwhat you put in the world comes back to youlove=like+energyeveryone makes great decisions on their death bed, where the hell were you when you were alive?!wisdom is knowing i am nothing, love is knowing i am everything, and life exsists inbetween the two - MC i often over look how much love IS present in my lifei dont like people who cannot be trusted, i dont spill secrets. Vent to me, i wont tell.i've saved lives before.lets put it like this...take the pain out of love and love wont exsist-billvy, i believe this, but i only believe thats when it ends.sometimes there are no heroes, sometimes you just have to save yourself.
    i really care about invisible children, check it out. you'll appreciate your life, and maybe wish to save someone elsessomeone told me on the first day of summer that i had great things in store for me. i held back tears because no one had ever told me that and that is all i had ever wanted to hear. i will never forget it, and won't let that statement stand in vain. I am out to be someone, and live for someone else, and i want to be the person that someone prays for when they are hiding from their fears, whatever it may be. Someone saved my life, and i wish to pay it forward, and thus it continues. I can save someone, ive done it before, and i want to keep doing it because helping others and the more we can about hteir happiness, the greater our sense of being is ----
    ....well i guess thats all for now. sorry for the rant, maybe you enjoyed it, im not sure.

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