i miss this face.

=[

what a cutie he was.

my jakey.10/25

explain to me...

-->...this conspiracy against me.

I watched Waynes World with these on.
I realized that me and my best friend are totally Wayne and Garth.
...but less "like duh"
mhm.
lazy -saturday.
too tired.

remember when me and my best friends snuck into the city?
yeah, i do too.
elation at its best.
summers last glimpse was a glance behind my shoulder at diamonds shining over a lake
with the finest at my side
grit below the feet
and same in my teeth
dont make me leave it all behind
because im tied
binded to a place
no ropes
just heart strings
played over the buzz of a highway
-just drive-

"you can dream us out of here, but were not leaving"

I love playing along

...Folie a Deux

est l'amour.../\

throwing
tumbling
into a mess
you are doing this for fun
and we take it seriously
falling tripping
into your trap
why do we wreck ourselves over this?
to be one step ahead of the rest
but baby, someones always got one up on you
no matter who you are
and the ones at the top
dont need to be topped
because they know we are only puppets
controled by their strings


i woke up this morning blinded by the sun shining in my eyes, i didnt mind it one bit

3:14am.

[cryptic]

so yesterday in the middle of practice, aka hell, where my coach calls us shitty and fat and acts like a 5 year old, i was sitting there, dispising her when i looked up onto the ugly yellow ceilings and saw a bit of a rainbow on the wall. It was from one of the lights or something but then i had a thought. Thats kind of what life was about, taking your mind out of some shitty gym where everyone is angry at eachother and finding the rainbow. finding happiness in every small moment, because at one point there is ALWAYS something to be happy about, even the smallest things. Its the way to create peace of mind and a state of happiness. Hm... as you can see... or not if you didnt know me before, ive changed the way i think in the past year. so im one redic happy person.


P.S. big mystery: citizensforourbetterment.com
odd things are about.

My Beautiful Rescue

"I'm insane. I don't know whats wrong with me. Somewhere along the line, i lost it. My Brain cracked. I'm Crazy. I have fallen apart. Who am I, Where did I go?"
"I find it hard to have mercy with the things you've put us through."
&
" I Love You"

Do the two balance out?
________________________________________
I've been jumping from the tops of buildings.
For the thrill of the fall.
Ignoring sound advice.
And any thought of consequence.
My bones are shattered.
My pride is shattered.
And in the midst of this self-inflicted pain.
I can see my beautiful rescue.

I'm falling more in love.
With every single word I withhold.
I'm falling more in love.
With every single word you say.
I'm falling head-over-heels for you.

I've been dancing on the tops of buildings.
At the top of my lungs I'm singing you a song.
Don't you leave me alone.
My bones were shattered.
My pride lays shattered.
Well I'll trample my pride and tell the whole world.
To dance with me.

I'm falling more in love.
With every single word I withhold.
I'm falling more in love.
With every single word you say.
I'm falling head-over-heels for you again.

I'm crying out.
"Wash my hands, these bloody hands Lord. Open my mouth and I'll sing."

I'm falling more in love.
With every single word I withhold.
I'm falling more in love.
With every single word you say.
I'm falling head-over-heels for you.

I've been dancing on the tops of buildings.
With you.



.peace.peace.peace.

so this is see you later, im not into goodbyes

hey summer, see you later.

i'm not sure what it is, but i know the summer is ending but i really dont feel like its completely over. Maybe its because summer never really leaves me at all. for me, its forever.
But i suppose every word i read about it ending, just brings me closer to having to say to myself: its over
just like the one i just read: One Last Time.

I'm going to miss driving with the windows open.
Driving at night in a car full of friends and laughter.
Doing whatever i want allll day.
Having time to connect with people everywhere
Staying up late just to get in trouble
Intense talks that go into the morning
Taking in everything around me
Times with all my best friends at one place
Always doing something even when theres nothing
Spontaneous summer decisions
Picking out Irony with the only kids who will understand it

So tomorrow as i sit down in a classroom, ill be thinking of what i should be doing, who i should be with. I'll sit there and think of my best friends and how we should be together.
Will i forget who i have become?
will i forget the lessons i've learned?
please, i hope not.

i am not scared for tomorrow or worried.
i am just having a hard time parting with my summer.
Yesterday can be summed up like this:
If I could spend the night underneath the starry sky then I wouldn't have to sin to lie.
If I could spend the night underneath your starry eyes then I wouldn't have to say goodbye
Goodbye skyline, I'll be just fine.

Here's to the nights that turned into mornings and the friends that turned into family.

love you kids.

you can never take the summer from me.

here it is.
the last horrah.
Summer is over.
I can't believe it.
[this will probably be long, so heres a forewarning]
Where do i even begin.
This summer was just simply, amazing.
Nothing will ever compare, and while i mourn the loss, i can only look back at it with happy memories.
I have learned more than i ever have from any classroom this summer.
Mostly what i have learned is about family, friends and relationships.
I learned although sad i dont have one, i dont need a guy to make me happy.
I have learned that there are incredible people out there if you look hard enough,
there are more than you think
and at any moment in time, you are NOT alone.
and friends come in all shapes and sizes and ages
and whether your friends live across the street or across the country, all that matters is that you were ever brought together at all.
To my summer friends, who i will never forget, you will never wrap your heads around how much you mean to me, and what i have learned from you, you can never take away from me, and what you have given me, even without knowing, i will take it with me forever and where ever. You have taught me so much, and have made me grow in ways i didn't think i could and you have all built me up to be this incredible person i never thought i had the potential to be.
this especially goes out to my fam. The 7 of you, are incredible people. dont let anyone ever tell you differently. You all mean so much to me, who you are right here and right now, dont ever forget it, because you have changed me for the better.
These memories i will hold in my eart forever because these past months i have never laughed harder, smiled more, been happier, or loved anyone as much as i have all of you.
At the beginning of the summer, i was a mess. But someone told me i was going to do great things. It was all i had ever wanted to hear. I knew i had to set out to do something big, and find what it was. What i ended up finding, was myself.
i also realized that i have goten everything i have asked for this summer.
I asked for love, and found it in every way BUT that which i expected and in every place i looked.
I cant really think of everything i asked for, but i know i got it.
Its hard to see it go, and i know no one could live this fast for this long. But like they say "You have to love it while you still got it, because when something wants to go, you have to let it go."
and i will not try to drag it on, because it was a good run, and everything was perfect.
Because after it all, ill always look back and smile, and isnt that all we can really ask for?
i believe it is.
so tomorrow, i will probably cry, and hold on to the peopel i care about most and who they are now. and hope things wont change: because its my greatest fear right now, that i will loose it all.
But i still have 2 days.
tomorrow: back to where it all began, the city, my first love<3

and hopefully there will be one last lesson to be learned, one more person to love, and one more time to feel completely free
=]
peace.Love.SummerFOREVER