Talking to my 'sister' on the phone.
In school in Pheonix, AZ
i miss her so much.
She makes me laugh so hard.
ahh its quite lonely without her to call me all the time and tell me whats going on in California.
p.s.
thoughts right now: you can take the kids from the summer, but you can never take the summer from me.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Saying Sorry
Dear Everyone,
I am sorry that i was in such a bad mood today.
Im not sure what it is.
I'm feeling a lot, my head hit the ceiling, and I'm not sure what to call my headache.
Does anyone even read this?
hm.
I'm thinking how today i felt that i missed someone, and that i wanted to be with someone. and couldn't name anyone in particular.
How confusing. maybe what i need is to just be alone (even though that's everything I've been trying to avoid)
tonight i was driving listening to brokencyde, wearing a white oxford button-down, wearing dirty converse, hair not done and wavy.
Hm. a bit of everything in there.
I should really delete that entire rant.
because no one will understand it and im just writing by stream of conscious, but for anyone that reads it, heres a little bit more of me, and a look inside my head.
Mixed and Jumbly.
I am sorry that i was in such a bad mood today.
Im not sure what it is.
I'm feeling a lot, my head hit the ceiling, and I'm not sure what to call my headache.
Does anyone even read this?
hm.
I'm thinking how today i felt that i missed someone, and that i wanted to be with someone. and couldn't name anyone in particular.
How confusing. maybe what i need is to just be alone (even though that's everything I've been trying to avoid)
tonight i was driving listening to brokencyde, wearing a white oxford button-down, wearing dirty converse, hair not done and wavy.
Hm. a bit of everything in there.
I should really delete that entire rant.
because no one will understand it and im just writing by stream of conscious, but for anyone that reads it, heres a little bit more of me, and a look inside my head.
Mixed and Jumbly.
diamonds seem like broken glass to me
went to the mall today.
Woodfield. How Crazy.
you see so many different types of people
and yes I'm guilty of sizing each and every one of them up
comparing, contrasting, jealous or not.
Bought some stuff, yay!
if there is one thing my family believes in, its fashion.
[this machine kills fashion-ism]
my dad is so funny to take to the mall because he knows everything about every company, article of clothing, and up and coming fashion.
I hope he takes me to the magic show one year with him=[
lucky man, he leaves for Las Vegas (lost wages) in a week to join the ranks of many companies showing what they have, and all the celebrity's show up to The Magic Show, which is the magic fashion business's conventon trade show that they hold every year in Las Vegas.
Last year Audrey Kitching was there...I'd be so excited to see her.
and i just hear awesome stories of all the things he gets to see before they come out and all the lines he sees before they get big (i.e. Urban Outfitters, Metro Park, H&M, DEMO) and then tells me about what will be cool in the next year. haha so funny
(sorry to go off topic) -->sat in an expensive jewelery store for an hour while my dad looked at watches
"This one is just under 4 thousand, and this one is just under 9 thousand".
???????????????????????????
who would ever spend that on something to tell time?!
hm. maybe its just because things like diamonds and gold and silver don't attract me,
its whats on this inside of a person that pulls me in.
so watched this video today
of fall out boy
oh how i miss them
when Patrick showed up on F'n MTV yesterday i screamed like nuts, and watching him and Pete together is like seeing two old friends again.
Because Pete is all famous now and i hardly ever see Patrick
i miss them.
recently i forgot how much they mean to me, and how much of them are in me.
maybe its because last summer with HCT i got to see them every few days in their videos and saw them 3 times in concert.
but i do miss them and no matter what, i owe too much to them to ever not like them. maybe one day ill do an entire blog on them.
but theres so much to be said.
Woodfield. How Crazy.
you see so many different types of people
and yes I'm guilty of sizing each and every one of them up
comparing, contrasting, jealous or not.
Bought some stuff, yay!
if there is one thing my family believes in, its fashion.
[this machine kills fashion-ism]
my dad is so funny to take to the mall because he knows everything about every company, article of clothing, and up and coming fashion.
I hope he takes me to the magic show one year with him=[
lucky man, he leaves for Las Vegas (lost wages) in a week to join the ranks of many companies showing what they have, and all the celebrity's show up to The Magic Show, which is the magic fashion business's conventon trade show that they hold every year in Las Vegas.
Last year Audrey Kitching was there...I'd be so excited to see her.
and i just hear awesome stories of all the things he gets to see before they come out and all the lines he sees before they get big (i.e. Urban Outfitters, Metro Park, H&M, DEMO) and then tells me about what will be cool in the next year. haha so funny
(sorry to go off topic) -->sat in an expensive jewelery store for an hour while my dad looked at watches
"This one is just under 4 thousand, and this one is just under 9 thousand".
???????????????????????????
who would ever spend that on something to tell time?!
hm. maybe its just because things like diamonds and gold and silver don't attract me,
its whats on this inside of a person that pulls me in.
so watched this video today
of fall out boy
oh how i miss them
when Patrick showed up on F'n MTV yesterday i screamed like nuts, and watching him and Pete together is like seeing two old friends again.
Because Pete is all famous now and i hardly ever see Patrick
i miss them.
recently i forgot how much they mean to me, and how much of them are in me.
maybe its because last summer with HCT i got to see them every few days in their videos and saw them 3 times in concert.
but i do miss them and no matter what, i owe too much to them to ever not like them. maybe one day ill do an entire blog on them.
but theres so much to be said.
Friday, August 15, 2008
finding ourselves without losing eachother
i'm thinking:
i wish people came with pass codes and invites to be my friend.
then i could easily sort out who is genuine from those who are not.
but maybe thats half the fun (these mistakes are just part of the ride)
a special wink, nod and medallion to know youre in
because what i've already got is like a VIP club, your waiting along the velvet rope, youre dying to get in...
but theres still blank spots on the guest list.
because i'm only half searching anymore and Youre the one who wants in, this time its my choice
p.s. you wouldnt give it to me, you always have to one up me.
but heres some news, i just can't beat you, you know it. just admit it.
and a shoutout: your mouth is writing checks your heart cant cash.
i wish people came with pass codes and invites to be my friend.
then i could easily sort out who is genuine from those who are not.
but maybe thats half the fun (these mistakes are just part of the ride)
a special wink, nod and medallion to know youre in
because what i've already got is like a VIP club, your waiting along the velvet rope, youre dying to get in...
but theres still blank spots on the guest list.
because i'm only half searching anymore and Youre the one who wants in, this time its my choice
p.s. you wouldnt give it to me, you always have to one up me.
but heres some news, i just can't beat you, you know it. just admit it.
and a shoutout: your mouth is writing checks your heart cant cash.
is it coincidence or a sign?
i want to feel like this again, taking chances on truckstops and state lines
so i am really slacking at this blog.
we've all fallen to the wayside a bit.
I hope we don't continue to slide.
Listening to Fast Times At Barrington High- new The Academy Is... album.
it's pretty chill
takes me back to high school...and im not even out?!...huh?
well...these are the fast times.
nothing has stuck or stuck out yet
so far, its good but mediocre.
Paper Chase is pretty poppy though (meelikey)
is it just me or does
His Girl Friday/ Summer Hair kinda sound the same.
thats ok, i still love you Adam T. Siska.
So nothing too interesting lately.
sending a package to faraway place.
lost in thoughts.
squeezing every last drop of sun and memories made out of these last few days of summer.
There will be a big long blog on the last day before school talking about everything.
for now I'll leave you with someone, by someone i thought i knew:
I'm cutting corners getting caught up in touch screens
and no more 'touch me''s
jumbled, I'm a mess
caught and tangled in the web
loosing data between the hard drives of our brains .
Finding myself again in old worn out records that started everything
pulling me back the the core
making me feel the way i used to before my technological addiction
when obsession and love were one
when innocence and purity were getting lost in the dark
and before i ever had you
oddly enough it feels the same way it did last time
only this time i can read the weathered lines on your face
the valleys that are your sunken eyes and cracked cement that is your conscience- because somethings you can't heal- well covered up but scarred none the less
- young love is ruthless, so learn to fly
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
nightmare before...4:30.
i just woke up from a nightmare.
I'm pretty sure everyone from this summer was in it.
I was on a cruise, saying hi to everyone
and then horrible things started happening
and i was hearing horrible things.
and everyone around me started to drop dead.
and what i do remember is screaming at 3 certain people, "you cant leave me, youre all i have". While looking for other certain people.
im pretty sure this is some odd metaphor for my fear of losing the relationships ive built up this summer.
Hmph.
Monday, August 11, 2008
A Loser Can Win Whenever They Want To.
Location: The Metro.
Concert Ticket: $12
Train: $5
Bus: $2
Posters: $1
meeting new people and being nuts with your best friends: priceless.
[for everything else theres MasterCard]...wait i don't even use mastercard. whatever.
tooo tooo fun last night.
Jessica, Alanna and I got on train after picking up jess and eating an entire frozen pizza. mmm.
To say the least, we had no idea where we were going. Phrase on the train? "Just follow the cubs fans!"
so we got off at Irving Park, followed the sea of blue, to a bus stop.
We had no idea where the bus would take us, but we got on anyways.
The girl in front of us drank a whole small bottle of whiskey herself (saw her getting off the train and she looked pretty bad) and the guy next to us was starting songs every 10 seconds, and no fan bus ride would be complete without "the wheels on the bus" (WTF)...my thoughts exactly.
so we get to the stop, get off and walk right up to the metro, and met up with dan and company. We sat outside CIWWAFS tour bus and watched the band walk in and out. I was overly excited to see Shaant. But bummed out later when i realized how rude he is about everything. oh well, he is still beautiful to me.
At 5:30, the doors opened and we moved on in, into second row for Danger Radio.
of course, i am in love with them NOW. AFTER seeing them. it always happens, at least i saw them at all=]
They put on a great show, tons of fun, just dancing and so much energy[well me at least, and maybe the kinds in the middle too].
Next was Powerspace, who i also love. Although their performance wasn't the best, it did have good energy and i enjoyed hearing new material, but hey Alec, next time play more oldies!!!
After PowerSpace, there was a crowd serge and i ended up facing backwards and smashed...needless to say we left the pit and headed to merch.
We met Andrew DeTorres, the lead singer of Danger Radio, and Alec. Then we headed upstairs to watch Cute.
But not before our savior Kate sent a text telling us William Cox was in the building! AHH! WILLIAM!
oh how we love him.
so we chatted with William for a bit, then headed up to watch CIWWAF.
we lurked, we danced, we sang, we screamed, we took lots of pictures.
Then headed out to meet Jeff, see william again, see a surprise appearance by HEY CHRIS!(bff of FOB), and then head towards Pick Me Up Cafe, only to get there, haev to turn around and get frustrated by finding NO cabs. But we did run into William again, and he gave me a hug, and of course i felt better then.
So we headed back towards the metro, (Like the gay man said, what does it take to get a Cab in this city? for god's Sakes im almost home), and found a cab.
took Lake Shore Drive home...the most magical, beautiful place in Chicago to see the city, i love that road, its my favorite place in Chicago.
Got back to the train with 15 minutes left.
The train ride home hilarious.
We were all way too slap happy, quoting everything possible and just being weirdos.
Bottom Line of the night, i love the city,
i love my friends, i love shows, and i love my life.=]=]=]
Concert Ticket: $12
Train: $5
Bus: $2
Posters: $1
meeting new people and being nuts with your best friends: priceless.
[for everything else theres MasterCard]...wait i don't even use mastercard. whatever.
tooo tooo fun last night.
Jessica, Alanna and I got on train after picking up jess and eating an entire frozen pizza. mmm.
To say the least, we had no idea where we were going. Phrase on the train? "Just follow the cubs fans!"
so we got off at Irving Park, followed the sea of blue, to a bus stop.
We had no idea where the bus would take us, but we got on anyways.
The girl in front of us drank a whole small bottle of whiskey herself (saw her getting off the train and she looked pretty bad) and the guy next to us was starting songs every 10 seconds, and no fan bus ride would be complete without "the wheels on the bus" (WTF)...my thoughts exactly.
so we get to the stop, get off and walk right up to the metro, and met up with dan and company. We sat outside CIWWAFS tour bus and watched the band walk in and out. I was overly excited to see Shaant. But bummed out later when i realized how rude he is about everything. oh well, he is still beautiful to me.
At 5:30, the doors opened and we moved on in, into second row for Danger Radio.
of course, i am in love with them NOW. AFTER seeing them. it always happens, at least i saw them at all=]
They put on a great show, tons of fun, just dancing and so much energy[well me at least, and maybe the kinds in the middle too].
Next was Powerspace, who i also love. Although their performance wasn't the best, it did have good energy and i enjoyed hearing new material, but hey Alec, next time play more oldies!!!
After PowerSpace, there was a crowd serge and i ended up facing backwards and smashed...needless to say we left the pit and headed to merch.
We met Andrew DeTorres, the lead singer of Danger Radio, and Alec. Then we headed upstairs to watch Cute.
But not before our savior Kate sent a text telling us William Cox was in the building! AHH! WILLIAM!
oh how we love him.
so we chatted with William for a bit, then headed up to watch CIWWAF.
we lurked, we danced, we sang, we screamed, we took lots of pictures.
Then headed out to meet Jeff, see william again, see a surprise appearance by HEY CHRIS!(bff of FOB), and then head towards Pick Me Up Cafe, only to get there, haev to turn around and get frustrated by finding NO cabs. But we did run into William again, and he gave me a hug, and of course i felt better then.
So we headed back towards the metro, (Like the gay man said, what does it take to get a Cab in this city? for god's Sakes im almost home), and found a cab.
took Lake Shore Drive home...the most magical, beautiful place in Chicago to see the city, i love that road, its my favorite place in Chicago.
Got back to the train with 15 minutes left.
The train ride home hilarious.
We were all way too slap happy, quoting everything possible and just being weirdos.
Bottom Line of the night, i love the city,
i love my friends, i love shows, and i love my life.=]=]=]
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